So You Have Been Asked To Help in Writing a Funeral Speech

Close family members of the deceased usually do funeral speeches and because they are already in shock or grieving, writing and saying a funeral speech can be very difficult and emotional; where do you begin talking about someone you love dearly and has just passed away. Here are a few tips and ideas, which I hope will help in such distressful situations. Keep the speech brief and general, approximately five minutes should be more then sufficient for a funeral speech for two reasons: one, you may get emotional and not be able to go through with it and second, everyone attending the funeral is mourning too and speeches usually emphasize the pain and loss.

The Essentials of a Funeral Speech

Keep the speech general, mentioning what characterized him or her as a person such as, his or her kind and giving nature, funny and humorous, loving, inspiring and/or a fighter who always worked hard to reach for a set goal. Always be positive in a funeral speech with regard to the deceased, as nobody wants to remember any of his or her bad sides on this particular day.

Always write the speech down, if possible type it in large easy to see print as usually one can get emotional and loose the line or break down and the whole page will get fuzzy through tears; if you can and know that you may break down and cry during the speech, try and have someone else with you who may finish your speech in such eventuality. However, don’t feel ashamed for breaking down, at funerals it is expected especially from close family and friends.

Make the funeral speech a conversation you would have had with your family and friends, informal and from the heart, as you are surrounded by family and friends therefore there is no need for formalities in your already hard to deliver speech.

Helpful Tip

Ask your family and friends for some of their thoughts on what they feel the funeral speech should sound like, as at such times it is understandable that you may not be able to think clearly and put together the speech by yourself. Funeral speeches are never easy whether it is to write or deliver them but it is also a form of paying respect to the deceased and some of the thoughts that will linger forever with some of the family and friends present at the funeral.

Choice in Funeral Flowers is Easier Than You May Think

In choosing funeral flowers, there are no rules that have been set to follow. Since funeral flowers are one of the few means of expressing a message when words are inadequate, choosing the right flower will depend largely on how you feel.

Funeral flowers allow you to send a message to the family members and friends that were left behind. It expresses your sympathy, even without saying a word.

You can ask for a funeral flower arrangements from different sources. Usually, funeral homes are located near flower shops while some offer flowers at the funeral home itself. Aside from the funeral flowers, you can also add a sympathy card or personal tributes to the flowers like trains, artwork, musical instruments or design your own to include in the flower arrangement.

Common Flowers Used for Funerals

When you choose to bring funeral flowers to say your condolences without words, you can pick any kind of flower you like to express how you feel. However, if you’re on the safer side, you can buy the most common flowers used for funerals.

Carnations are one of the traditional funeral flowers. The most appropriate carnation colors for a tribute are red carnations. These kinds of flowers last longer than other flowers, which can be the reason why many people choose carnations for funeral services that are scheduled for over one week.

Red carnations signify passion, while white carnations express truth. However, be aware that carnations costs more than other funeral flowers, so be ready to pay a high price.

Chrysanthemums are the most used funeral flowers worldwide because they signify honesty and truth. You could buy chrysanthemums in colors yellow, white, tan, pink, burgundy and various shades of green.

If your loved one who passed away loves the color blue, Iris can be a great choice for funeral flowers. Iris is an amazing, blue flower that signifies hope and faithfulness are available all throughout the year.

Lilies are also among the favorite flowers because of the varieties available. You can buy Asiatic, oriental or longiflorum lilies in colors white, yellow, pink or orange. Calla lilies, on the other hand, costs more than the traditional funeral flowers because they provide great visual from its impressive colors.

A red rose, the classic funeral flower, provides elegance to any gloomy room. Red roses are used more for funerals because they signify passion, while yellow reflects love and white stands for innocence.

Regardless of what kind of flower you choose, the only important thing is you choose from your heart and listen to what you feel. The flowers could serve as a sympathy card for most people, when words are not enough to express your condolences.

Writing a Funeral Speech

Close family members of the deceased usually do funeral speeches and because they are already in shock or grieving, writing and saying a funeral speech can be very difficult and emotional; where do you begin talking about someone you love dearly and has just passed away. Here are a few tips and ideas, which I hope will help in such distressful situations.

Keep the speech brief and general, approximately five minutes should be more then sufficient for a funeral speech for two reasons: one, you may get emotional and not be able to go through with it and second, everyone attending the funeral is mourning too and speeches usually emphasize the pain and loss.

The Essentials of a Funeral Speech

Keep the speech general, mentioning what characterized him or her as a person such as, his or her kind and giving nature, funny and humorous, loving, inspiring and/or a fighter who always worked hard to reach for a set goal. Always be positive in a funeral speech with regard to the deceased, as nobody wants to remember any of his or her bad sides on this particular day.

Always write the speech down, if possible type it in large easy to see print as usually one can get emotional and loose the line or break down and the whole page will get fuzzy through tears; if you can and know that you may break down and cry during the speech, try and have someone else with you who may finish your speech in such eventuality. However, don’t feel ashamed for breaking down, at funerals it is expected especially from close family and friends. Make the funeral speech a conversation you would have had with your family and friends, informal and from the heart, as you are surrounded by family and friends therefore there is no need for formalities in your already hard to deliver speech.

Source: Funeral

Can There Be An Appropriate Funeral Gift

Someone you knew and loved has recently passed away, and you just found out that after the funeral there will be a small reception at the immediate family’s home. You would like to purchase a funeral gift to bring, but are unsure of what might be appropriate. Luckily, there are many different funeral gift ideas that you can choose from.

Funeral Gift Ideas

If the family is religious, you can give them prayer cards. This is a very nice way to show them that they, as well as the deceased, will be in your thoughts and prayers.

If you were especially close to the deceased and have many pictures of him or her, you can make copies of those pictures and put them in an album for the family. Or, if you are especially creative, you can make a collage out of the pictures and frame it.

Chances are that the family will not be in the mood to cook for a while after the funeral. If you are great at cooking, then as a funeral gift cook them one of your specialties, and make enough of it so that it will be able to last for a few days.

Funeral gifts don’t actually have to be given at the funeral or at the reception. If, for example, a family lost someone who always shoveled the driveway during the winter, and now they have no one, offer to help them during that time.

Another idea for a funeral gift, especially for someone who is a widow, is a spa set. A spa set will help to relax her during the time of grieving. You can also include soothing music with the spa set.

Sometimes there are inspirational books or movies that can really help a person during a time of grieving. If you know of any that will help the family feel better, you can purchase that as a funeral gift.

Another funeral gift you can give to the family is a bouquet of flowers. Flowers are beautiful and can really lighten an atmosphere.

For more ideas on how to choose and appropriate funeral gift, consult other loved ones who might have some suggestions. With some research, you are sure to find a suitable gift. However, be aware that the best funeral gift you can provide is your support for the family during their grieving.

A Funeral Prayer In Every Religion – All Around The World

Depending on your religious affiliation, you are most likely familiar with a certain kind of funeral prayer.  If you are Christian, you are sure to know all of the funeral prayer said at Christian services.  The same can be said for those who are Jewish, Muslim, or Buddhist.  But have you ever wondered what a funeral prayer in a different religion sounded like?  How similar is their funeral prayer to yours?  Learning about other religions inspires tolerance and understanding—the two keys to a better world.

A Christian Funeral Prayer

The following is a Christian Catholic funeral prayer, called the Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi, that is commonly said at Catholic funerals: “Lord, make me an instrument of Your Peace; Where there is hatred, let me sow Love; Where there is injury, pardon; Where there is doubt, faith; Where there is despair, hope; Where there is darkness, light; Where there is sadness, joy. O Divine Master, grant that I may seek not so much to be consoled, as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; for it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life. Amen.”

A Jewish Funeral Prayer

Next, let’s learn about a funeral prayer commonly said at Jewish funeral services.  This one is known as The Words of King David: Psalm 23.  The prayer goes: “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul; He guideth me in straight paths for His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou has anointed my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and Ishall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”  Because the Christians also recognize the Old Testament of the bible, this prayer can be heard at Christian services as well.

A Muslim Funeral Prayer

The following is a common Muslim funeral prayer: “Glory be to Thee, O Allah, and I praise Thee. Blessed is Thy name and Thou art exalted. Thy praise is glorified, and there is no god other than Thee.  O Allah! Have Mercy on Muhammad and on those related to Muhammad, just as Thou hast mercy and Thou sendeth peace and blessings and hath Compassion on Abraham and on those related to Abraham. Surely Thou art Praiseworthy, the Great!  O Allah! Forgive those of the us who are still living and those who are dead; those of us who are present and those who are absent, and our minors and our elders. O Allah! Let the one whom Thou keepest alive from among us, live his life according to Islam, and let the one Thou causeth to die from among us, die as a believer.  Peace be upon you had Allah’s Mercy.”

A Buddhist Funeral Prayer

This funeral prayer, known as the Bardo Prayer, is commonly heard at Buddhist funeral services.  It reads as follows: “Oh Buddhas and Bodhisattvas abiding in all directions, Endowed with great compassion, Endowed with foreknowledge, Endowed with divine eye, Endowed with love, Affording protection to sentient beings, Please come forth through the power of your great compassion, Please accept these offerings, both actually presented and mentally created.  Oh Compassionate Ones, you who possess The wisdom of understanding, The love of compassion, The power of doing divine deeds, And of protecting in incomprehensible measure, …… is passing from this world to the next, [He/she] is taking a great leap, The light of this world has faded for [him/her], [He/she] has entered solitude with their karmic forces, [He/she] has gone into a vast silence, [He/she] is borne away by the great ocean of birth and death …..Oh Compassionate Ones, protect…..who is defenseless. Be to [him/her] like a mother and father.  Oh Compassionate Ones, let not the force of your compassion be weak, but aid them.  Let……. not go into the miserable states of existence. Forget not your ancient vows.”

Are Funerals, as Such, Important?

According to many experts, funerals are an important part of the family and friends’ grieving process. For many people, they help by providing them support through the mourning period, as they will be given time to remember, honor and affirm the departed family member or friend.

Funerals are important because every person will have to deal with death at some point in their lives. Attending one is important both for the people attending the funeral to cope and for the family to receive support from other people. It is one of the limited ways of giving the last farewell to the deceased.

Many people prefer a personalized funeral because it creates an inviting form of grieving, discussions and healing. Personalized funerals enable the family and friends to remember and retell memories of the deceased, which is an integral part of the ritual.

When a person mourns, he or she openly express pain, fright, loneliness and devastation towards the situation of the person they loved who passed away. Funerals make it easier for everyone to express pent up emotions, which leads to a step towards emotional and psychological healing.

Different Crematories Funeral Services

There is no one kind of crematories funeral service. A crematories funeral service can be performed according to the wishes of the deceased, or, if no wishes were left, according to what you, as the family of the deceased, think is best.

Many people leave wishes in their will to be cremated, and as such, many people also choose to have a private funeral service for only close family and friends. At these kinds of crematories funeral services, those who are invited gather at the crematorium, an urn is presented to the family, and some words are said about the deceased.

Another manner of funeral service that you can have in such a situation can also be paired with the scattering of the ashes. While some people’s ashes remain in an urn that is placed in the home of a loved one, others want their urn buried in a cemetery, while some people want their ashes scattered at a particular place.

For example, the deceased was a person who loved to go sailing, and his or her final wish was to have his or her ashes scattered off the bow of their boat in an area of the ocean that they particularly loved. At this kind of crematories funeral service, all close loved ones should be assembled, words should be said, and then the ashes should be scattered as a conclusion to the service.

Funeral Car Ideas

First of all, choosing a funeral car depends on the amount of people that want to travel together. If the amount is relatively large, then a black limousine should be used as the funeral car.

If there is only a small amount of people that wish to travel together, then an option is to drive in a black Cadillac as the funeral car. However, there is also the option of having the immediate family travel in a black limousine, and a Cadillac with other family members and friends could follow behind them.

If the family does not particularly care to hire a funeral car, then they do have the option of simply selecting their own transportation. This is a choice that small immediate families often choose.

Although there is not a particular way in which everyone arrives to the funeral, a particular way to leave the funeral is usually observed. This happens when the procession is to go to the cemetery.

The first car in the procession is usually the hearse, followed by the flower car. However, this is sometimes reversed. Next comes the main funeral car that has the deceased’s immediate family in it. Following that might be another car of family or friends.

After the immediate procession cars, other funeral attendees are to follow the procession with their headlights on, to signify that they are going to the cemetery. There are several rules that other vehicles should follow during this kind of procession.

The first rule is to never try to cut in and disrupt the line of the funeral procession. If another vehicle is waiting to merge onto that part of the street, they are to wait until the procession goes past. It should also be noted that funeral processions do not necessarily have to obey traffic lights.

A funeral car should be chosen with care, as often many families end up arguing about who should travel with whom. Don’t let arguments lead to tension on the day of the funeral. A funeral should allow loved ones to join together in mourning for the deceased in a time of tribute.

A Few Tips on the Funeral Dress Code

A funeral ceremony is definitely a somber affair often requiring a strict funeral dress code. However, having a dress code does not mean that it should be bereft of all style. The basic rule remains that the dress should be black. Nevertheless, you can add a few variations depending upon the prevalent style and the relationship with the deceased. When I say ‘prepared’ it does not mean that, you should indeed shop for a funeral dress in advance of such an eventuality.

Rather, than everyone should have a black dress tucked in somewhere in the wardrobe – which could be used in event of a funeral. Women should always stick to the traditional style if they want to feel ‘safe’ within the norms. The best is a black suit where both trousers and skirt can be used. In case it is possible, the best choice for a summer funeral dress for women would be to wear a plain black cocktail dress, which does not have a too low décolletage.

Grieving Starts at A Funeral Parlor with Plenty of Options

If a funeral parlor offers different services, but money is an issue, then you can choose a graveside service. When you choose this option, the visitation and burial will be held at the same location. Although you can save a lot of money from this kind of service, there will be no embalming, cosmetic caring, dressing or renting of a funeral parlor. In addition, only a few people will attend the ceremonies.

Another option you could consider is cremation. With this option, the remains are cremated and returned to the family or friends. You will now decide if you want to keep the ashes within the urn, scatter them or bury the ashes. If you can’t decide on cremation just yet, ask the staff of the funeral parlor about the benefits of cremation to fully understand the process before deciding.